or many years, I always said I wanted something that just “fit.” In work, in life, in relationships, family…in everything. When I was growing up, my father would always get frustrated with me because not only would I not accept “no” for an answer, if it did not “fit,” I didn’t want it. It didn’t matter if what I wanted was not one of the choices, I was never willing to accept that which I did not feel was right. I was defiant in trying to find what fit, and it wasn’t till many years later I realized that you can say no, and just relax into it and out of what seems like the sky, what fits just falls into your life.
When I talk about things “fitting,” I am talking about how when you just know a client is right for you and you have razor sharp vision about where they are going to go. Even better, you know that you are the only person who can take them there. Or when you try on an amazing pair of jeans that did not cost $300 but fit your ass so amazingly that you needed to buy two pairs for the price of that one, and you never quite take them off. Or when you meet a new friend and you seemingly have endless things to talk about and although bonding over one particular subject, the intellectual and emotional stimulation you get from this friend is endless and keeps growing until you can’t imagine the rest of your life without them. Or even people who come in and out of your life when you need them most, but the time passed as if it has been nothing. They just “fit” back into your life no matter how long they have been gone. In many ways today, I was reminded about how things just “fit.” I was laughing in the office with my staff for the first time in a long time. That there was a group of people in there that got along, we liked each other, we managed the stresses of the day and got through it without killing each other. That I did not feel the urge to over eat (I am not fat, but do tend to emotionally eat from time to time and yes have been victim to eating an entire bag of potato chips at one point on my life – till I took up spinning at the gym and actually value the work I put in) and that even through the rain, today was inspiring, special and just fun. Some of it was because I had the honor to escort my client Dr Ramani (www.doctor-ramani.com) around today and listen to her incredible life story. If anyone knows what “fits” is her, and boy does she live her life by it. And proudly too. It was inspiring to hear how she made one change in her life and through that one single change, over time the rest of all the negativity, fear and unhappiness fell away all of its own weight. Literally and figuratively. Literally I mean her weight, her unhappy marriage her life direction and figuratively I mean the way her life changed and the people she surrounded herself with, the new people that came in and the ones she trusted becuase she trusted her “gut” and knew that it “fit.” Dr. Ramani made a pledge to lose 85 pounds. As she got thinner and started to take control of her own life, everything changed. She had the courage to get out of an unhappy marriage, enhance the direction of her life’s work and passion and before she knew it, everything around her was a bright light of illumination of her own making that has wonderfully morphed into a dream that was in fact reality, starting with getting an agent, a manager and being hired to be Bravo’s on air psychologist on “Thintervention” with Jackie Warner last season. What I learned today from her was to find out why we are “hungry” and what we are in fact truly “hungry for,” That is in line with my own philosophy about fitting, “round peg square hole kind of thing,” but when you take a look at why we are indeed hungry, it may not be your stomach asking for sustinence and we are in fact trying to make something fit that does not indeed “fit.” We discussed today how making one change from inside can completely move your life. That its not about waiting for that change to happen, its about taking that change by the horns and doing it and feeling good about it. To her that was her diet. She wanted to walk around as the woman she is meant to be. One that is not ruled by food. Oprah says “Nothing Tastes As Good as Thin Feels.” I am sure Ramani does as well. However it was through her realization that if you are willing to walk away from food you are able to walk away from everything else that makes you “hungry.” – unfulfilled marriages, unfulfilled jobs, dissatisfying friends and interpersonal relationships. Its all connected. Honestly if you can walk away from food you can walk away from anything that that does not truly define you and you can Remember Who You Are. It is then that no matter how scary and overhwhelming your life may become with the embarassment of riches that come your way that you will truly begin to appreciate, acknowledge, and be grateful for “what fits.”
P.S. I said I was going to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks. I’m down two pounds…8 to go. Not sure I’m going to make it, or why on earth I even decided to do this, but it was more a challenge about whether I could get back to my size 6 instead of my size 8 than anything else. I mean I exercise like a bandit, I just like to eat. And its really because I’d like all my amazing clothing in my closet to fit just a little bit better. That being said, Dr . Ramani does not believe in “diets.” So perhaps if I just focus more on what is truly making me hungry and look to fill that void with what its supposed to be filled with I too will walk away from food naturally and everything else will just seem to fall into place and just “fit.”